It is easy to confuse normal sexual desire and conduct with addictive compulsion and gratification.  A person can have a stronger than normal sexual appetite and not be an addict.  Here are some characteristics of addictive sex that help set the two apart:

Addictive sex is done in isolation:  This does not mean it is always done alone.  It means that mentally and emotionally the addict is detached, or isolated, from human relationship and contact.  The most intimate of human behaviors becomes utterly impersonal.

Addictive sex is secretive:  The addict develops a double life, practicing masturbation, going to porn shops and massage parlors, pay for prostitutes, all the while hiding what he is doing from others, and even in a sense - even himself.  Because this secret life is so full of shame, the biggest fear of the addict is to be found out.

Addictive sex is devoid of relationship:  Addictive sex is mere sex, sex for it's own sake, sex divorced from authentic interaction of persons.  This is most clear with regard to fantasy, pornography, and masturbation.  With a partner, the partner is not really a person, but an interchangeable part in an impersonal mechanical process.

Addictive sex is victimizing:  The obsession with self-gratification blinds the addict to the harmful effect his behavior is having on others.  If achieving gratification means doing any perverted, deviant act, the addict will proceed seemingly unaware until the shame comes crashing in.  Those harmed are meaningless to the addict.

Addictive sex ends in despair:  Addictive sex leaves the participants feeling guilty; regretting the experience.  Rather than fulfilling, it is empty, and they despair over whom they had sex with or how low they stooped to have it.  In these dark moments of despair, the addict most likely feels abandoned by God.  Often they think to themselves of how badly they want to stop and want help, but they do not know how to stop or where to turn.  Or maybe they are not willing to use what is available. 

Are You Addicted To Internet Sex?

Dr. Kimberly Young, founder of the Center for On-Line Addiction, estimates that as many as five to ten percent of everyone who goes online will become addicted.  This test may help you determine if your involvement with Internet sex has developed into a compulsive habit:

		Do you routinely spend significant amounts of time viewing pornography or visiting chat rooms with the intent of finding sexual stimulation?
		Do you feel preoccupied with using the Internet to find online sexual partners?
		Do you frequently use anonymous communication to engage in sexual fantasies not typically carried out in real life?
		Do you hide your online interactions from your spouse or significant other?
		Do you anticipate your next online session with the expectation that you will find sexual arousal or gratification?
		Do you experience significant physiological changes when you visit sex oriented Internet areas (increased heart rate, sweaty palms)?
		Do you feel guilt or shame from your online use?
		Do you accidentally become aroused by Internet sex at first, and now find that you actively seek it out when you log online?
		Do you masturbate while online?
		Are you less involved with your spouse because of your experience with Internet sex?

50% or more would indicate probable Internet Sex Addiction.

General Patterns and Examples

1. Fantasy sex: neglecting commitments because of fantasy life, masturbation.
2. Seductive role sex; extramarital affairs (heterosexual or homosexual), flirting and seductive behavior.
3. Anonymous sex; engaging in sex with anonymous partners, having one night stands.
4. Paying for sex; paying prostitutes for sex, paying for sexually explicit phone calls.
5. Trading sex; receiving money or drugs for sex.
6. Voyeuristic sex; patronizing adult bookstores and strip shows, looking through windows of houses, having a collection of pornography at home or work.
7. Exhibitionist sex exposing oneself in public places or from the home or car wearing clothes designed to expose.
8. Intrusive sex; touching others without permission, using positions of power (e.g., professional, religious) to sexually exploit another person, rape.
9. Pain exchange; causing or receiving pain to enhance sexual pleasure.
10. Object sex; masturbating with objects, cross-dressing to add to sexual pleasure, using fetishes as part of sexual rituals, having sex with animals.
11. Sex with children; forcing sexual activity on a child, watching child pornography.

 Again, Developing a close relationship with the Lord, Accountability Partner and Groups, Reading Recovery Materials, Prayer, Bible Reading, Church Attendance, Recovery Plan, and Practicing Recovery Principles will greatly help you in your recovery.